I am so excited to participate in the GIFF, to get to know the other filmmakers who have had to fight through that uncertainty for something they weren’t sure would ever exist but felt and knew needed to.
If there’s one thing that I can say about my experience of film-making it is that it is about a constant listening to something that doesn’t yet exist, but you know exists, and that something wants to come out as the film itself. You feel it inside the disparate parts that haven’t come together yet; it’s inside the books you’ve read, in the visits to museums and to conferences you’ve made to better understand the subject; it’s inside the interviews, in your questions and in the responses that are shared. You hear it in the timber of the interviewees’ voices, but you don’t know if you’re just imagining things.
That thing you’re listening to and you’re willing to fight for through the haze of its uncertain future… well, it’s there and it is what drives us on and helps us make decisions about what needs to be present and what needs to get cut, what we need to add, what we can’t talk about. It helps you move through all the b.s. that might otherwise drive you crazy if you think too much about it, because there’s controversy, intense darkness, too bright light, and there are polemical viewpoints on a subject or two, but you stay close to your story, the one you hear and that doesn’t exist yet, and slowly but surely it comes out and presents itself as the film. And then you get to sit back and let it speak for itself and what it will say and how it will be known is no longer in your hands, but rests with the viewer.